I’m sorry, but someone needs me more.

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Bipor ——-///////—-/////—-/
mixed state (rapid ) Bipolar -/-/-/-
A little visual,though not nearly accurate. With Bipolar the states can last weeks,months even. I don’t know much about it as I’m just learning about the second. Where the states change extremely rapidly, in our case in minutes.  We’ve been told this is the more severe of through two, but also that as Dude ages it could morph into the first, I truly hope so.
Add to that, anxiety, panic,ocd, dcd and tourettes and I’m sorry.
Like I said in am earlier post I’m a giver, that’s who I am. I listen, I hug and I do my best to support, no matter what someone is going through.  My heart breaks for fellow parents going through any sort of trouble with their children. But I’m sorry.
I’m not trying to be a bad,unsympathetic friend by not being the shoulder,I’m not trying to be a bad business woman by having to close so I can attend meetings where I cry,.trust me I’d rather be at work. I’m not trying to be a bad volunteer by not stepping up more, or pulling back.
Right now this giver needs to take. Yes to put it bluntly right now it is all about me,OK not me but me being a mom. Second to that is my business as that allows me creative release!
Right now I need to focus. I need to educate myself and my family and I need a game plan!
Right now I need to be able to use someone else’s shoulder for a bit.
It’s not easy being I’ll at any age. Imagine being yet a child. Children don’t have the coping or communication skills We as adults do.imagine not being able to put words to your emotions and pain. Imagine at such a young age questioning how you’re going to be able to live like this forever. Because it is forever,  it may be able to be stabilized, but no one can guess when and for how long. It’s not going away. But we’ll sure give it our best shot!
Who said life would be easy anyway? I just wish it didn’t have to be so damn hard on kids.
So I am sorry if I’m letting others down today, but you see someone needs me more.
Someone told me I’m on a roller coaster and the only way not to puke is to scream, so I’m screaming!!

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