Why I share…

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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m an open book. I’m also a giver,and a helper.
I’m sure there’s those who think I share to much about our journey. And those who may not truly know me,and think I share for some sort of sympathy. But I have said before too, this isn’t about me, I have never felt bad for myself for having a child with mental health issues. I share simply enough because I care.
It’s hard to find support, even support groups for parents with children battling mental illness.
Because of that my only goals in sharing our journey is to be the support for others, and to show those suffering. Dude included. That there’s no shame, and there are those of us who want others to know their not alone.
I respect and appreciate that not everyone is as open to sharing as I am. I understand that we all deal with our journey in our own way.
I love that I can be the person people think of when they are struggling through the trenches with themselves or their children.
I love that I can be that support, give some insight and advice when asked. I love that I can go through my library and pass on resources and information. Even if it’s as simple as listening, we all need that!

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I often suggest a therapist , because I’m not.
But I am a mom who has been traveling this road for 7 years, and when my son was been young.

Life experience. That’s what I have.

I am always touched and honored when someone comes to me. And it would probably shock a lot if people if they knew how many did. Sometimes we need others, because sometimes it’s bigger than our mommy hugs.
I share to in hopes of breaking down the lovely stigmas and stereotypes. Because my children have to live in a world full of them, if I can educate one person, and rid those on one person, I’m happy!
Without talking, those stigmas won’t change. Ignoring doesn’t make things go away,  in fact acknowledging and working together can bring relief, and break down those stigmas and stereotypes.
I know one day Dude may ask I don’t share, and I will respect his wish.
But I try very hard to teach my kids to be comfortable with themselves, all of them. I try hard to teach Dude that though he has this disease it doesn’t define him. To teach him it’s OK that people know, so they can understand him.
We’re still working on the shame and guilt. But I hope I’m teaching him there is no need. This disease is not something he chooses,nor is it something he can control on his own. And I hope to help my fellow parents understand this about themselves as well.  Because we as parents carry a lot of guilt, a lot of shame, and a lot of expectations that we can “fix” .
Once I let all three of those go (for the most part) I felt a lot lighter, and a lot more.in the present moment for Dude.
There is no “fix” in our situation, and as a parent that’s the toughest pill to swallow. You just want to.make it all better.  Take the pain away. Have a typical, happy child, one that you don’t get “looks” about when they’re struggling.
Sometimes you can’t make it better, and sometimes you need someone whose experienced something similar, to listen and be that support, but are to scared to reach out for fear of judgement.
Sometimes life just sucks,no  doubt about it.
But I promise you, your not alone.

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