Positive, patient and Persistent!

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I came across this picture this morning, and it sums up what I’ve been working on,and learning about when it comes to my son.

1. Positive:  now I’ve read all of the blogs,posts, etc circulating about giving your child to much praise, how revolving around your child is wrong, how it will create false ego, entitlement etc. And though generally I don’t disagree with any of what I’ve read,I’m guessing the poster’s child is not bipolar. Just an assumption. Maybe one I shouldnt make, but I doubt I am the only parent whose children are the center of our world. That doesn’t mean that myself and my relationship with my husband come second, for me my life does revolve around our family. I’m quite happy in that role.  Now one thing I’ve learned from his professionals is that my kiddo needs positive feed back, praise every 5 min. Now Dude also has an extremely high academic iq, but a very low functioning iq,  so I’m not sure which of his disorders thrives on positive and praise. But does it matter?  Nope. Fact is I don’t know anyone who doesn’t feel better emotionally when they receive positive feed back or praise. Sometimes we wait for some huge moment to give it. Through Dude I’ve learned to acknowledge and praise even the little things. And though I don’t think it’s realistic to praise someone for making it to work. I have noticed a big change when it is given for making it to school without world war 3! I truly believe people in general will be more productive and happy in their roles when given some sort of positive every day. I know my spirits lift when someone loves their flowers or I’m told I’m doing a good job.
Try it, as the old saying goes “you get more bees with honey, than vinegar “.  It’s important to celebrate even little things,don’t wait for huge moments, for they may never come.
2. Patience:  This is a biggie for me!  And one I’ve just sort of done without noticing how. I’m not a super patient person.  I want things now.I hate surprises.  I hate waiting for anything!  But for some reason I’ve turned into a fairly patient parent.  Even more so since dude’s diagnosis, and learning what I have. Mainly, there’s nothing I can say or do to change it. Nor can he. With the final puzzle piece placed, and knowing why he acts the way he does has raised my patience level ten  fold. I think knowing that getting frustrated, angry,upset isn’t going to make it stop has brought me to a place of acceptance. I look back and see when my patience was the lowest was when other people were expecting something or present, and I was embarrassed of his behaviors because I had no clue why. It was also at it’s lowest when I couldn’t help explain things to him.
With patience, comes peace. And some days I have none of either, but most I have both.
3. Persistent:  well this one I’ve never struggled with. Persistent or stubborn, call it what you will. But I’m both.  And this out if the 3 is the one we’re so desperately trying to teach Dude!  I’ve never backed down from much,especially when it involves helping and protecting my children.  Never have I wanted to stop working towards getting my son as healthy as possible. 
It is extremely hard for a bipolar kiddo to be persistent through the bad. They hit a point regularly of wanting the pain and confusion to just stop. It is excruciating to help them through this sort of state. It’s heart breaking when they ask how they can live like this. It’s pain like nothing I know. It’s constant reassuring, it’s constant conversation.  Persistence is so hard for them to grasp when they are struggling so hard. But that’s where my persistence comes into play. I’m to stubborn to let him give up. I’m persistant in calming him, in explaining it will be OK.
I am most Persistent in reminding him, this to shall pass.
My hope is it sinks in, and he continues to preserver!
3 simple things that can change so much!

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2 Responses to “Positive, patient and Persistent!”

  1. mybodymytime Says:

    Awesome post

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