Bipolar isn’t seasonal.

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It’s summer, so all’s calm, relaxing and fun right?
The stress and pressure of school is gone, so should all worries and cares! 
Ya not so much.
I admit I kind of forgot for a week about dude’s illnesses.
Then BAM. We’re angry, depressed, Absolutely all over the map.
I’m racking my brain for foods he’s eaten, possible triggers etc.
Then I clue in.
Oh ya he has bipolar.
DUH!
Apparently I’d forgotten that just because school has ended for the year, doesn’t mean his cycles have!
Bad Mom moment!
We tend to forget, OK not really, but kind of, the cycles, the heartache,the pain even exists when all is well.  Then out of nowhere we’re nailed,  and it takes us a moment to catch back up!
School definitely adds to the stressors in these kids lives. Summer is typically a bit more calm.
But I’ve learned that even the littlest of trips, family functions etc can overwhelm them at the drop of a hat.
Planning, preparing, and yes sometimes not attending are crucial in our world.
And often we can plan, prepare and cross our finger’s, and shit still hits the fan. Other time’s we’re surprised at how easily that something just went!
We can’t just expect all to all of a sudden be normal and perfect because the sun is shining. 
I wish it were, but it’s not.
There’s still moments, and days that that dark cloud looms. That crisis is hit.
Summer should mean later bed time’s, sleeping in, lots of playing, and fresh air!
In our reality, bed time may be pushed slightly, but not much because sleep structure and routine keep our kid functioning.
Sleeping in, again I wish, but 7am is as far as we get!
Fresh air?  Some days, some days not.
The truth is I love summer!
And I wish dude’s needs were seasonal!
I want to head to the lake, sit by the fire, enjoy the sun and people visiting!
More than that I want Dude to do the same.  I want him to enjoy new and old friendships.  I want him to go free without stress and anxiety.
But that’s not going to happen as easily as I wish.
So we make the best of it! We e’er enjoy the sun quietly.  We enjoy our own fresh air.
And when that dark cloud creeps in, we hold on as tight as always and hope at least the sun is shining outside.
Because dammit bipolar isn’t seasonal!

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