To close to see.

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Said it before, I’ll say it again.  Sometimes this mom is a slow learner!
This last couple weeks have progressively gotten worse for dude. Typical day has been:
Wake up extremely hyper.  To the point of no calm amongst the crazy.
Head slowly into beyond irritable.
Pull out of cranky just in time to hit major depression mode.
Bed time.
First we try for a few days to monitor what foods are eaten. 
Then we try to see what trigger there’s been.
Ya nothing!
But I still try to come up with something, because I’m stubborn like that!
It never fails that someone else has to say to me “do you think it could be meds? Time to have a check in? ”
Well duh!  The kids growing like a weed, hormones are bounding, and yet it takes absolute crisis to hit for me to remember what we’re dealing with!
In my last post I shared about bipolar not being seasonal.  Yet I still forget.
Change and new things can trigger cycles. So I wasn’t surprised that was the first question asked .
I learned long long ago that routine is critical to my child’s well being.
So we don’t stray to far from it. Even if it’s holidays.  Even if that makes us boring.  It is what it is.
Plus I run my own florist/coffee shop, so holidays are unheard of.
So my answer to change in routine is always a big fat nope.
We discussed some new irrational fears that have popped up, ones that if you live in Alberta make life miserable in the summer!
Mainly bugs.  None of us are huge fans. But dude’s had increased to the point of panic attacks, keeping him from his favorite summer activities.  We have since almost conquered them, thank God!
It was very obvious through the appointment to all there, that the lovely rapid cycles had returned.
Dude did pretty damn good explaining them.  That and he rocked the entire appointment,  which is a sign.
The thing is dude knows when he needs a big appointment, he’ll ask for it even.
But he hates them! He’s petrified every appointment will lead back to the hospital.
A very real fear,  and one I can’t promise won’t happen.
So we truck along, and cross our fingers that that day won’t come again for quite some time.
And maybe one day I won’t need someone on the outside to remind me of thing’s.  Then again I need to give myself a break and remember sometimes the people closet don’t notice the changes as fast, and sometimes we want it to be anything but the dreaded illness.

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