Tis the season! So it begins…


Tis the season! Crazy, chaotic, exhausting, frantic, fun, loving, kind and wonderful all rolled into one!
Christmas season happens to be one of my busiest seasons, volunteer, work, home and school wise.  I absolutely love the Christmas season for all the traditional reasons, but I also loathe some of what it brings.
I find myself over committed, stretching extremely thin to manage work with the rest of my commitments.  I’m two weeks into the busy season that is that of a florist, and I’m already tired. I find myself dreading certain things that are quickly approaching. Not for all the reasons some may think (yes I’m tired, no I don’t like crowds but those are par for the course, no biggie).  But because good excitement, just like stress can be a big trigger for my bipolar kiddo.
When others are flying with the excitement of the season, relishing the later nights, the concerts, and all the amazing things that this beautiful season brings, dude fluctuates between waaaayyyy to excited to extremely overwhelmed to very low.
Don’t get me wrong, he loves Christmas! But when you struggle with mental illness, holidays can be tough, no matter how much you love them!
We try really hard to maintain our schedule during holidays, but there’s some inevitable changes.  A few later nights, lots of people (even though he loves them,  all together it can be hard), and simply just the added excitement of it all.
See I love the simple things of Christmas, family, quiet snuggly days, big flakes falling outside while we sip hot chocolate inside being thankful for all we have, games and movies and Christmas carols,  baking and eating! These are what I love about the season, and what brings a certain calm to dude when the world seems to be bustling way to fast,  to fast sometimes to remember just what’s important during this time of year.
For dude, and I’m sure so many others, quite honestly most of us! Christmas can be an overload, setting off all sorts of triggers.
It took me many years to figure out that even though he was excited, he was also struggling with moods and emotions.  For a long time I just didn’t get it.  How can you be do upset, overwhelmed or sad during such a wonderful time of year? I just couldn’t grasp it, but I’ve come to accept it.
The blessing disguised in that  is it makes me slow down, focusing on what’s important, family and time. 
So sometimes we might have to leave something early, sometimes dude won’t attend, yes my kids are in bed close to regular bed time, no we won’t make that event, no we don’t have time to commit to that. Yes I am selfish.  That’s just how I want to be during this Christmas season. I want to enjoy the time with my kids, the fun days with my family and the hustle and bustle of work.  I want to relax and enjoy the season  not run frantically, not sitting in a room full of strangers or pushing my way down the eisles. So I won’t. 
I will enjoy the season how I want to, and in the process help my boy enjoy it as much as possible as well.
Tis the season!


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