Days like yesterday.

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There’s days like yesterday that are scary and overwhelming.

There’s days dude needs his space, and there’s days, like yesterday I just can’t give it to him.
There’s days like yesterday  he himself knows that he can’t be alone. Where he doesn’t even trust himself and will ask to not be alone.

There’s days like yesterday that we check on him every 5 minutes. We get on his nerves. But he knows we get on his nerves out of love and worry. He gets it.

There’s days like yesterday that as parents our stomachs tighten and our hearts race and we hold on tight.

There’s days like yesterday where his little sister is left confused and scared and her eyes fill with tears of worry.

He is quiet on days like yesterday, but his mind is screaming.  And ours are on high alert.

There’s days  like yesterday  if I ask him if he’s wanting to hurt himself, he will reply that absolutely he does, he’s done, he can’t do it anymore.  But he won’t. Because of us. And I can’t help but hope that even 10 years from now, that will be his thought process,that he will hold on in those moments for fear of hurting those who love him, until those moments pass. Until the tomorrow comes.

There’s days like yesterday that when he’s tucked into bed safely, there’s a little sigh of relief, but then you tuck yourself into bed holding your breath, hoping and praying that tomorrow is a better day.

Then there’s this morning, when all is well and good. And you remember that there will always be days like yesterday. 

But that was yesterday.

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