Archive for January, 2017

Bubbles. 

January 24, 2017

I need a time out. I need my bubble. 

I need a time out from the negative. The ignorance. The hate. The stigmas and the stereotypes. I need a time out from the mean and the cruel and the closed minds. From closed off bubbles. 

I try to be vocal. To use my voice, against those things. But right now I am tired. I’m tired of it all.  I am exhausted from the online bombardment of them. It’s sad. It’s disheartening  and it’s exhausting. And I need my bubble desperately. 

I don’t get it. I don’t understand. I can’t imagine how people  can so vehemently be against something they don’t understand or know, let alone a person or people they don’t.  (I suppose that some don’t understand why I’m not.  I don’t expect everyone to agree with me, that’s okay.  I do expect kindness. I do expect when disagreeing with me or others you not be ignorant or an asshole.)

 I suppose I actually do. Fear is often rooted in change. Change is scary. Being pushed out of your comfort zone or to actually think about others is tough. It’s easier to stay in the bubble we create for ourselves. To fit in with those around you, with similar bubbles.  But somethings need to change. And if you don’t consider anything other than what’s in your bubble. That bubble needs to pop. 

I asked the other day if your child was one of those who you deemed wrong or not acceptable, outside of your bubble, would you still speak the same? Would you continue to belittle, bash and hate?if your child didn’t fit what you deem acceptable. Would it still be they don’t deserve the same rights? Just because they don’t fit what’s in your bubble? Your children are listening. I feel for the kids on the fringes who will possibly fear sharing with their parents because of this.  They share our bubbles for a moment in time, they are though allowed to have their own, dont burst it because its different from yours. I fear one day parents may not have those children one way or another because they are so stuck in their own bubble. Let’s remember every person is someone’s child) could be your child.

No one answered. I am not surprised. However, I hope it made some think . 

I know I am not alone in my thoughts. I know that the world is full of us. I know that there’s troops of kind,caring,empathetic and open humans. Yet some days I feel like a minority in my thoughts and views. That’s okay.  

I am okay with being outside the bubble.

I’ll just make my own.  And it will be a bubble full of acceptance. 

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January 24, 2017


I need a time out. 

I need a time out from the negative. The ignorance. The hate. The stigmas and the stereotypes. I need a time out from the mean and the cruel and the closed minds. From closed off bubbles. 

I try to be vocal. To use my voice, against those things. But right now I am tired. I’m tired of it all.  I am exhausted from the online bombardment of them. It’s sad. It’s disheartening  and it’s exhausting. And I need my bubble desperately. 

I don’t get it. I don’t understand. I can’t imagine how people  can so vehemently be against something they don’t understand or know, let alone a person or people they don’t.  (I suppose that some don’t understand why I’m not.  I don’t expect everyone to agree with me, that’s okay.  I do expect kindness. I do expect when disagreeing with me or others you not be ignorant or an asshole.)

 I suppose I actually do. Fear is often rooted in change. Change is scary. Being pushed out of your comfort zone or to actually think about others is tough. It’s easier to stay in the bubble we create for ourselves. To fit in with those around you, with similar bubbles.  But somethings need to change. And if you don’t consider anything other than what’s in your bubble. That bubble needs to pop. 

I asked the other day if your child was one of those who you deemed wrong or not acceptable, outside of your bubble, would you still speak the same? Would you continue to belittle, bash and hate?if your child didn’t fit what you deem acceptable. Would it still be they don’t deserve the same rights? Just because they don’t fit what’s in your bubble? Your children are listening. I feel for the kids on the fringes who will possibly fear sharing with their parents because of this.  They share our bubbles for a moment in time, they are though allowed to have their own, dont burst it because its different from yours. I fear one day parents may not have those children one way or another because they are so stuck in their own bubble. Let’s remember every person is someone’s child) could be your child.

No one answered. I am not surprised. However, I hope it made some think . 

I know I am not alone in my thoughts. I know that the world is full of us. I know that there’s troops of kind,caring,empathetic and open humans. Yet some days I feel like a minority in my thoughts and views. That’s okay.  

I am okay with being outside the bubble.

I’ll just make my own.  And it will be a bubble full of acceptance. 

Let them be different. 

January 16, 2017

Shame on us I suppose for letting our kids be themselves. Because it kinda sucks sometimes for them to not fit in the box . It’s hard in a world that expects not only our children, but us to fit a mould , to not.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s freeing and wonderful too. But it’s hard to not stand with the crowd. 

We watched our daughters basketball tournament this weekend and as we watched my husband commented “not hard to see who our kid is. One of those things is not like the others….”. It was true,is true. Where ponytails flew, her short funky hair stood out. Where short shorts were the norm, her mix matched long baggy shorts stuck out. 

Part of me was proud. I adore the indivuality of people. I love the differences. I love my child’s indivuality.  But a part of me to be honest was sad, because many don’t. It brought me back to recent comments made about her and I couldn’t help but wonder how long before she decides to fit the mould to make life easier. Then I was reassured that if anything , she is strong enough in herself she won’t cave so easily. I hope she doesn’t. 

I wonder why often? Why is different bad in our world? Why do our children, as we did and still do, bury themselves to fit in? I wish that fitting in meant individuality. Unfortunately it often doesn’t. It is easier to dress like,style our hair like,act like everyone else. Because for some sceientific  reason we like people who are only like us.  So in order for kids,teens and yup lots of adults  to be accepted and liked they have to fit what the majority deems acceptable, you might get away with a slight difference. But not a big one, you’ll be outcast for that. And that’s tough. And people can be cruel.  My biggest wonder is why? I don’t think you have to be like someone else to be treated with kindness or at the very least not be treated badly. One thing I say often: “not liking someone does not give you the right to be cruel”. Me? I like the misfits. I like the real, the individual. 

It’s not ok. But it is reality. And sometimes it sucks. Especially for kids and teens who’ve yet to realize that the world is a big place full of different. 

We’ve raised our children to be themselves, we’ve taught them to talk to people instead of about people, we’ve taught them to be tolerant regardless of the moulds and boxes society and peers set. Most of all we’ve taught them they are good enough just being themselves. We don’t want clones of ourselves , or anyone else for that matter. And yes we sure do sometimes screw up. And yes they sure screw up too. We are human after all. Mistakes don’t necessarily mean bad. They mean growth. We all make them, don’t pretend you don’t. But I think this one thing we’ve done decently. 

I want my children to be strong and kind and continue to march to their own beat. I want them to be confident and comfortable enough  with themselves to have the hair and clothes they choose but more importantly the hearts and individual personalities, thoughts and opinions they have. I want them to not be ashamed of their sensitivity, their compassion and their tolerance. I want them to have those regardless of how they may be treated. I want them to be them. I want them to always know that being yourself is the best way to be happy. 

Life can suck. It can knock you down on your way up. But I have faith that by being themselves on the way up, they will be better for it and conquer the world once they reach the top.

I don’t care. 

January 9, 2017

Well… ​it’s been a while. I often write when our dude is struggling,  to work through it. So for some reason I thought I could only write about our journey with raising a son who battles mental illness daily. Then it dawned on me, who says? I can write about whatever I want to write about. It’s always been my way of processing. So I shall branch out a bit…

I am always grateful, and always lucky and blessed. But I am also human. I get frustrated,  angry,   sad, exhausted, and plain sick and tired. I am blunt and honest and wear my heart on my sleeve, albeit I always try to be kind. If you want all sunshine and lolly pops chances are I am not your type of person. I am real, always.  I am finally ok with this. 

I have finally reached that point in my life where I am OK with me. In the last few months I think it’s become more apparent that I don’t pretend to be something im not. And I don’t expect everyone to get me, or get my opinions. But I have also gotten to a place that I won’t let people treat me badly or make me feel less than because we don’t agree. You are no better than me, nor am I you. 

I quite honestly am sick and tired of adults using differing opinions as a valid reason for belittling, blaming, shaming and treating others like crap.  Not ok! Period. Ever. Don’t care. No excuse. 

We don’t need others permission to be ourselves. I am not sure where or when we start to  think we do, but we do, all of us.  What I see playing out online sometimes, in the news  etc, is plain and simple unacceptable. It’s sad,pathetic and completely shameful. And frankly I don’t get it and I am sad that  people just don’t say anything, to avoid the above. You are allowed to use your voice. Just be kind using it. Don’t let hate and stigmas have a louder one. 

I don’t care what kind of car you drive, the size of your house, the color of your skin, which gender you like or identify with, I don’t even care which washroom you use. I don’t care if you are a scholar, a drop out, if you win medals or prefer gaming.I don’t care if you go to church, are an atheist,  any religion or somewhere between them all.  And really, if it doesn’t directly affect someone in a negative way (which I have a hard time thinking of how any of really truly  would) it does not give people the right to be cruel to you.    I don’t mean to sound harsh, I just don’t care. Be yourself. Be you. I will be me. And hear me when I say there’s people like me out here who aren’t judging or stereotyping you for being you. 

  Those things are not what I find important. Those things don’t make the person you are. I choose to view each person I meet as the person, not lumped as a group. A rotten  apple doesn’t make the whole basket rotten.  Being different does not mean bad. To me at least, it means the opposite. If we were all the same, that’s where  I would have a problem. How boring. How ridiculously boring.  
I live by one rule. If you are kind to me, I am kind to you, and I actually mean it. Oh and if you aren’t kind, I don’t assume the rest of “your kind”  aren’t. For the love of God, we are each individual. None of us are the same. That’s one of the most beautiful things about humanity to me. 

You are the only person who needs to accept you. You are the only person who you have to prove anything to. 

Those who choose to stereotype, belittle, bully and try to use their own anger and power and voice to make others feel less than? Who needs em? Not me. 

Different is good! Normal is boring. And what the hell is normal anyway?