Posts Tagged ‘differences’

I don’t care.¬†

January 9, 2017

Well… ‚Äčit’s been a while. I often write when our dude is struggling,  to work through it. So for some reason I thought I could only write about our journey with raising a son who battles mental illness daily. Then it dawned on me, who says? I can write about whatever I want to write about. It’s always been my way of processing. So I shall branch out a bit…

I am always grateful, and always lucky and blessed. But I am also human. I get frustrated,  angry,   sad, exhausted, and plain sick and tired. I am blunt and honest and wear my heart on my sleeve, albeit I always try to be kind. If you want all sunshine and lolly pops chances are I am not your type of person. I am real, always.  I am finally ok with this. 

I have finally reached that point in my life where I am OK with me. In the last few months I think it’s become more apparent that I don’t pretend to be something im not. And I don’t expect everyone to get me, or get my opinions. But I have also gotten to a place that I won’t let people treat me badly or make me feel less than because we don’t agree. You are no better than me, nor am I you. 

I quite honestly am sick and tired of adults using differing opinions as a valid reason for belittling, blaming, shaming and treating others like crap.  Not ok! Period. Ever. Don’t care. No excuse. 

We don’t need others permission to be ourselves. I am not sure where or when we start to  think we do, but we do, all of us.  What I see playing out online sometimes, in the news  etc, is plain and simple unacceptable. It’s sad,pathetic and completely shameful. And frankly I don’t get it and I am sad that  people just don’t say anything, to avoid the above. You are allowed to use your voice. Just be kind using it. Don’t let hate and stigmas have a louder one. 

I don’t care what kind of car you drive, the size of your house, the color of your skin, which gender you like or identify with, I don’t even care which washroom you use. I don’t care if you are a scholar, a drop out, if you win medals or prefer gaming.I don’t care if you go to church, are an atheist,  any religion or somewhere between them all.  And really, if it doesn’t directly affect someone in a negative way (which I have a hard time thinking of how any of really truly  would) it does not give people the right to be cruel to you.    I don’t mean to sound harsh, I just don’t care. Be yourself. Be you. I will be me. And hear me when I say there’s people like me out here who aren’t judging or stereotyping you for being you. 

  Those things are not what I find important. Those things don’t make the person you are. I choose to view each person I meet as the person, not lumped as a group. A rotten  apple doesn’t make the whole basket rotten.  Being different does not mean bad. To me at least, it means the opposite. If we were all the same, that’s where  I would have a problem. How boring. How ridiculously boring.  
I live by one rule. If you are kind to me, I am kind to you, and I actually mean it. Oh and if you aren’t kind, I don’t assume the rest of “your kind”  aren’t. For the love of God, we are each individual. None of us are the same. That’s one of the most beautiful things about humanity to me. 

You are the only person who needs to accept you. You are the only person who you have to prove anything to. 

Those who choose to stereotype, belittle, bully and try to use their own anger and power and voice to make others feel less than? Who needs em? Not me. 

Different is good! Normal is boring. And what the hell is normal anyway? 

The Jones don’t matter.

April 7, 2015

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Doesn’t this quote just sum it up?
I often find myself trying to justify my decisions. And why? For who?
Yet I’m as often telling others not to, that they owe no one an explanation. To do what is right or best for them.

Is it human nature? Or just my personality? I’m a people pleaser.
At the end of the day, does it really matter what the Jones think? How they perceive you?

Well of course it does. To some extent. But it shouldn’t as much as many of us think it does.

My husband for example has more of a take it or leave it, I don’t have to explain it to you, attitude. He could care less what the Jones think, because they’re not us and we’re not them.
Which balances out my need to over explain everything. Just ask my kids.

And when it comes to my children, my parenting choices and so on I find myself to often giving explanation, even to those who don’t deserve one.
I think part of it comes from constantly questioned for my choices, particularly for my child who struggles with life. Constantly having to defend my child and our family choices, constantly having people in public watch your child and constantly feeling like you’re an outsider to the main stream in the parenting department.

But I ask again, does it matter?

Are my children happy, as healthy as possible and kind, caring and giving ? Is my marriage solid and secure? Yes, yes, yes and yes!
I must remind myself those are what’s important.
Not if ms. Jones thinks I feed my kid to much candy , or Mr Jones thinks I don’t drive a nice enough car, or they think I’m not hard enough or to hard on my kids, and definitely not if Mrs Jones thinks that the treatment plan for my child is correct.
Truth is the Jones don’t matter quite as much as what people think. And their perceptions are frequently incorrect.
Because perceptions aren’t always reality. And sometimes perceptions are total reality. Because I have learned ones perception is their reality, which maybe is why I try to change perceptions in certain circumstances.

But at the end of the day it doesn’t matter what the Jones think!
If you’re happy, be happy.

Your opinion, not my reality.

February 1, 2015

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We all have varying opinions and beliefs. Difference doesn’t mean wrong. And definitely doesn’t give people the right to be condescending, manipulative, hypocritical or disrespectful.
Differing opinions and beliefs can be a good thing. As long as they’re not used in the latter.
There are so many things to have an opinion or belief about, and if we all shared the same, what a boring world we would live in!

I may have a belief other than yours, or an opinion on a subject, but I try not to judge those on the differing side.

Our opinions don’t equal judgement. Or at least they don’t have to and shouldn’t.
There’s a difference in opinion and judging. Opinions are your views on something, judging is a bit more involved. And is not always a bad thing! There’s good judgement calls and bad judgement calls.  We have to constantly make those judgement calls. And yes judging is human nature, it’s how we form friendships, choose dinner and where to lay our heads. It’s how we make decisions. But judging solely on another’s beliefs or opinions, gender, iq, and so on, that’s where the tables tip a bit.
Because one has any of those different than yours, does not mean they are wrong, or a bad person.
Nor does it give you the right to be self righteous, manipulative or mean toward them.

Being a fairly open person, I subject myself to many opinions. But those opinions are not my reality.

My reality is that life can suck, but I choose to share the good along with the ugly. No I choose to see and live the good as well.

My reality is that most have no idea of what my reality is (nor I theirs) . It is mine alone, no two realities are the same.

But I also have opinions and beliefs and have had experiences, like everyone, to form them.
I choose to share some, I choose to keep some close. But I always have a reason.
I am allowed to have my opinions and beliefs.
I have them because of my reality. I have been through crap no one but a couple know.
I’ve walked hard roads to get to where I am. Roads no one knows about.  Travelled on for years.

I’ve stumbled,fallen, gotten back up, screwed up, been screwed over, learned, and lived in this thing we call life.  And will continue to do so.

Reality changes, sometimes it sharpens our edges, sometimes it softens them.

But one things for sure, your opinion isn’t my reality.