Posts Tagged ‘opinions’

Your opinion, not my reality.

February 1, 2015


We all have varying opinions and beliefs. Difference doesn’t mean wrong. And definitely doesn’t give people the right to be condescending, manipulative, hypocritical or disrespectful.
Differing opinions and beliefs can be a good thing. As long as they’re not used in the latter.
There are so many things to have an opinion or belief about, and if we all shared the same, what a boring world we would live in!

I may have a belief other than yours, or an opinion on a subject, but I try not to judge those on the differing side.

Our opinions don’t equal judgement. Or at least they don’t have to and shouldn’t.
There’s a difference in opinion and judging. Opinions are your views on something, judging is a bit more involved. And is not always a bad thing! There’s good judgement calls and bad judgement calls.  We have to constantly make those judgement calls. And yes judging is human nature, it’s how we form friendships, choose dinner and where to lay our heads. It’s how we make decisions. But judging solely on another’s beliefs or opinions, gender, iq, and so on, that’s where the tables tip a bit.
Because one has any of those different than yours, does not mean they are wrong, or a bad person.
Nor does it give you the right to be self righteous, manipulative or mean toward them.

Being a fairly open person, I subject myself to many opinions. But those opinions are not my reality.

My reality is that life can suck, but I choose to share the good along with the ugly. No I choose to see and live the good as well.

My reality is that most have no idea of what my reality is (nor I theirs) . It is mine alone, no two realities are the same.

But I also have opinions and beliefs and have had experiences, like everyone, to form them.
I choose to share some, I choose to keep some close. But I always have a reason.
I am allowed to have my opinions and beliefs.
I have them because of my reality. I have been through crap no one but a couple know.
I’ve walked hard roads to get to where I am. Roads no one knows about.  Travelled on for years.

I’ve stumbled,fallen, gotten back up, screwed up, been screwed over, learned, and lived in this thing we call life.  And will continue to do so.

Reality changes, sometimes it sharpens our edges, sometimes it softens them.

But one things for sure, your opinion isn’t my reality.


Getting picky and choosy!

May 3, 2014


So…. here’s the thing, not everyone agrees.
I know it, you know it. I sure don’t expect people to agree with every thing I do, and I don’t always agree with others.  I actually in most regards respect and appreciate that.
I’m so not a black or white person (hence why someone has to make my decisions! ). I am the grayist of the gray! I tend to always see both sides, and positives in both.  I tend to trust easily (not as easily as I always have ). I tend to understand individual choices and decisions, and I tend to support them in most people I know.
God I’m far far from perfect, I’m not pretending I am! I’m stubborn, I’m loud,I’m anxious,  I’m a Tad bit crazy, but typically I’m not opinionated unless I feel strongly about something, and usually that something is some sort of judgement or injustice.
I’m sure I’m not alone in this crazy world of disorders in being passionate, and vocal, and firm in my beliefs. To each their own in said belief.  But hell hath no fury like a special needs parent feeling mis judged, or having something pushed on them.
I speak our truth and ours alone.
I’ve been asked if dude has been mis diagnosed, I’ve been tried to be sold every concoctions under the sun. I expect this because I’m open with our journey.  But I tend to hop on my opinionated train when I feel someone else has jumped on theirs and won’t let it be.
We’ve been at this for more than long enough to know what works for dude. We’ve awaited the final puzzle piece for all of those years.
We struggled for years, because we felt lost, there was something missing, something not quite right in his list of diagnoses.
Now we have our holy Grail! finally thank god we have the diagnosis that makes perfect sense in our world! For years the adhd, odd diagnosis didn’t seem quite right, now we know why!  We’ve researched and learned and are extremely relieved and confidant that we’ve found that missing piece.  Proof has been monumental in strategies and meds working.

We’re well aware that there’s good products and potions out there that work for mild to moderate mental health disorders, dude’s is far from it, pretty Damn severe actually .
We choose to use what we choose.  Yes he is on medication, yes he will continue to be. We’ve recently found a meditation he’s comfortable with,and like minded strategies that help with his anxiety and rage states.  For us it’s finding a balance that works for him.
We know firmly now what we are dealing with (though yes the states change extremely rapidly ), and now we tweak and tune. Medication and therapy will always always be a part of that!

Compare it to diabetes if you will.
Once you know what you have, you will have to take medication, and have regular check ups. Yet you will also exercise and have a different diet.
Bipolar is not all that different.
You will take your medication, have your check ups. Yet learn personal strategies to help calm, regulate and keep your head above water!
As you wouldn’t try to convince a diabetic to change their treatment plan or diagnosis .  Please don’t try to convince a parent of a bipolar, anxious (Or any special needs) child to change theirs .  Trust me we have enough pressure and questions as it is. We are doing what we know to be best, after many years. This doesn’t happen over night. Sometimes you have to wait an awful long time to get your Holy Grail!  I for one am at a place of confidence and peace with dude’s diagnosis and treatment.  Quite honestly I’m tired of trying to “convince ” people that I know what I know. Trust me i know. So now it’s my choice to let that (and yes that means some people) go.
I don’t owe anyone an explanation,  those who know our journey, understand  and respect why we do what we do. I will always speak up and yes be opinionated when it comes to mental health,  but I’ve come to realize I want myself and mostly my son surrounded by people who care enough to try to understand without trying to change.. So I’m going to try to “weed my garden “, and post only for my fellow parents and myself, I’m not going to try and justify our life as much.
Because those who matter care, and those that don’t, don’t matter!