Posts Tagged ‘peers’

Back to school. Love mom.

August 27, 2015

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Next week you’ll be opening those big metal doors of a new school year.
Your backpacks and doors won’t be the only thing that is heavy and loaded down.
You will be full of nerves, excitement, uneasiness and happiness.
I want you to remember a few things, not just on this first day, but every day of the school year.

1. You are good enough! As you sift through the unsteadiness that comes with not seeing your peers, and the worries that come a long with not knowing if your friends from last year will still be your friends this year. As you walk into the new classroom with a new teacher and slowly take those steps to the new desk. And your tummy is in knots not knowing if anyone will talk to you. Know that you are good enough. And every other kid is feeling the same.

2. I don’t care about the other kids. OK I do, but please please don’t compare yourself to them.  I am not worried about what Suzy got on the test, I am not worried that your mark was lower. I’m not worried about Johnny being a math whiz, but you don’t get it. I’m not worried about the game being lost, or won. Did YOU try? Did YOU do YOUR best? That’s all I care about. You have your own talents and gifts, as everyone in your class does. Focus on YOUR talents and gifts while cheering on your peers in theirs. There’s so much more to life than classmate competition, others successes don’t take away from yours, be proud of yourself and your friends!

3.  Be kind. Be yourself. Be good.
You are perfectly you. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Embrace and encourage the differences that others are. Don’t get sucked into the he said, she said crap. Don’t say anything you wouldn’t want being shared with the person you said it about, and you won’t have to worry. Be kind, to everyone. You don’t have to agree or even like everyone, but that doesn’t give you the right to be cruel. Same goes for others to you. And if they are? Hold your head high, walk away and talk to us. Same goes for the teachers. I assure you that you’re not going to love them all, or always like what they have to say. That’s OK. But you don’t get to back talk or be rude. They are a) the adult and you will respect them b) they are there to help you, use that. And appreciate and respect that and them, they are your biggest resources!

Love you and don’t ever forget that!

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Kindness for Christmas

December 20, 2014

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The most wonderful time of year is upon us. Well for me anyway.
I love Christmas and all it means, no not the money and the stress, because there’s lots of both. But I make a conscious effort to limit both. Because for me it’s about family, traditions and kindness.

I speak a lot about acceptance and kindness year round, yesterday dude was shown just those things, and at the most perfect time.

Dude had a crash last week, which led us to extending his Christmas holidays. We hit the point of “remove all outside triggers and stress until he sees the doctor”  mode.  No we aren’t putting him in a bubble, but when things aren’t balanced we must do whatever we can to prevent the crash from becoming worse. School is a trigger on a good day and the festive season is often another with all of the excitement and schedule changes, so after discussing with teachers and his psychologist we decided to prevent a complete breakdown he would stay in his comfort zone.

Upon his early leave from school with our permission and more importantly his, his grade and the grade above (he’s in a small school)  were given a brief description and discussion on not only bipolar disorder, but mental illness. The response of the students was incredible in itself, but the true meaning of the story brings us to yesterday.

It was the last day before break and a few of the students asked for his email address, and emailed him Christmas and get well wishes. Just as they would a classmate in the hospital or away from school for a length of time with a physical illness.
I was left speechless.  Not often does that happen!
To top it off two of his friends handpicked a Christmas gift and sent it home with his sister.  I can’t begin to describe the look on his face as he unwrapped it.  I can’t imagine how the emailed words made him feel.
The support and compassion and acceptance that surrounds my son continues to amaze me.
Even before the discussion of mental illness, he was accepted. But now with the knowledge that he has an illness, one he can’t control I think his peers can make sense of it all, having a name makes it easier to understand sometimes.
The compassion, patience, empathy and understanding of his peers and the staff makes my heart full.
I believe no matter what is under the tree this year, his best present will be knowing he is supported, cared about and valued.

My Christmas wish is this for any child or adult struggling with illness. For each and every one of you to know you are loved, you are cared about, you are valuable. My other wish is that those who don’t suffer to extend kindness  patience  understanding and compassion to those who do.

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