Posts Tagged ‘suicide’

The big bad conversation.

September 10, 2015


Suicide prevention day.

To me, and many it’s not a day.
We don’t just talk about it for a day.
It’s life. It’s semi normal conversation, albeit a crappy conversation. But a real conversation that must be had.
It’s a conversation we find vital, and as important as any other. It’s a conversation that must be had.
It’s not just a conversation, it’s so much more. It’s a touch, a hug, a tear, appointments, meds, doctors, frustration, anger, heart break and unimaginable sadness, it’s support and love, smiles and laughter. All in the hopes of keeping suicide at bay. Or yes ultimately preventing it.

Yes it’s a difficult subject to talk about but one we must have. For so many reasons,and one that should be had by more people.
So many have been touched, but it’s still such a taboo topic, and those who haven’t been affected simply don’t, can’t understand. So the conversation is important. Don’t tell me it’s not. Suicide is a topic that in my opinion should be discussed, as much as diabetes and cancer. To take away the shame, the blame and the non accurate assumptions and the judgement, the all mighty judgement that goes along it.
So start talking. Today gives you the perfect opportunity.

Our reality, the hardest of all realities for us to understand or accept is: we don’t know. We don’t know how long our loved ones will be able to fight, battle, suffer and try before they can’t anymore.
All we can do is support, love and guide. All we can do is hope. Every single day we hope we can some how prevent the tragedy that so many, to many, suffer.
And to accept that we’ve done all we can, and will continue to do so and acknowledge and accept that sometimes we can’t prevent suicide.

But please remember those who die of suicide or are thinking of it, haven’t just had a bad day.
A day didn’t bring them to the last resort as a day won’t stop it.
Prevention is everyday, not simply a day in September where we band together. But if it can get the conversation started, and  resounding voices around the world, I am all for a prevention day.


Let’s talk.

September 10, 2014


Let’s talk.
About the elephant in the room.
This picture is a staggering stat, yet one often not spoken of.
Many times it makes no sense.
Other times, we understand.

But it is never easy.

The word suicide is one that comes with such a mixture of emotions, feelings, questions and stigma.
One we struggle to use.

I read a blog recently that resonated with me.  It spoke of deaths due to heart attack instead of coronary embolism, due to cancer instead of the technical terms of the actual end cause.
And death due to depression instead of suicide.

You see suicide is the end result often of a lengthy illness, not the cause of death.
Because many suffer in silence, we often aren’t privy to the battle they’ve fought for so long.
And even if we are,  we are still left wondering how they could do this to us!

But it’s not about us.

As a cancer patient takes their last breath, our hearts break, but we acknowledge that they are finally at peace, without pain.
It’s simply no different for mental illness. They’ve suffered pain, we don’t understand.  And because it’s not as visible we’re less apt to notice the pain or offer help.

You see in our house every day is a painful battle, everyday we watch our child battle like the bravest. And everyday we do our damdest to prevent a suicide.

Our son is now 13, we’ve been preventing since he was 9. That’s four years of appointments, hospitals, tests and pain. And four years before an active attempt. 
So you see that’s almost ten years of illness and suffering.
Not a day, not a second. Years.
Years without remission. Though there are plenty of good days,  this illness will never be cured, there will always be a battle.

And we can only hope that the illness doesn’t result in a life lost.

*though my son suffers a chronic illness, not all do. Some are a day or a minute. Be aware and be present, and most of all be kind *

Tomorrow, you just never know

August 12, 2014


I typically don’t join the hype when a celebrity passes.  But the loss of a legend is a bit different. And the reason for his passing more so.
A sad day for everyone when a life is lost that created so much joy.
But a reminder that you truly never know.
His family knew. And as any family in the trenches of mental illnesses knows, it’s a life threatening condition. One battled hard every day.
So today my heart hurts for his family.
If you are in the trenches, either yourself or a loved one,  you know the battle. You know the pain,  the struggle, the heartache to just keep going.
Help doesn’t always help. To just tell someone to suck it up makes it worse.
Sometimes there’s not a damn thing you can do,  but hope it passes and they’re with us tomorrow.
My hope is loosing such a visible, loved person won’t be in vain.
That next week the support and outpouring of understanding for those battling won’t stop when the shock wears off.
I love and appreciate the tweets and posts flying around today supporting mental health, but will they continue?
Probably not, but I hope the thoughts remain.
For those in the trenches will still be in the mud.
And the family of the beloved actor will still be remembering.
Life will go on,  as it always does, but the pain of the loss of loved ones all over the world to suicide will always remain.
It sucks. Period.
But let’s remember the laughter. The joy. And the good.
Because tomorrow, you just never know.

*if you or someone you know is at a point of loss, please contact someone. There is no shame. Saving a life is never a waste,*